No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
