i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
