tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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