listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
