I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
