We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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