my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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