i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
