i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize