this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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