Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
