Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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