i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
