Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
