Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
