a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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