PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
