I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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