party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I want to be your penis for a week.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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