I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he thought i was a dude.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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