I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i now understand why vodka
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
