Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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