The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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