just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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