I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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