She announced her abortion via fbk
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
