Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
