that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
