Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
