Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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