she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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