It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
