I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
