Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
