Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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