At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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