id be glad to
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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