Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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