We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
