We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
