I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
