You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize