Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
