He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
