I hope mine doesn't look like that
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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