Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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