Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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