Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
