last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
