This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I intend to get homeless drunk
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
