Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
