So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
