Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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