How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
