I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
