By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Still dying that you shit outside
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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