I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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