My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
