Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
