i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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