I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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